The Three Broomsticks Karaoke Night
by cjc
Summary: Please read this, it's quite funny and I'd love to know what you think so please, please review it!


The Three Broomsticks Karaoke Night  
  
The town of Hogsmeade was quiet as it lay beneath the beautiful clear blue summer sky, basking in its tranquillity. It was the month of August in fact, and the wizarding school term had just ended. The sun was out, everything was peaceful and the roads were clear.  
  
At the northern-most point of the small town stood a cosy little tavern with a large wooden sigh hanging above the door: 'The Three Broomsticks'. A tall, grand tent had been erected and attached to the back of the tavern, it was so large that the pub itself could multiply a thousand times and still have room to run around inside it. On the door of the tavern was an aged blue poster, the hand-written message read, 'Karaoke Night – All welcome, Entrance is free'.  
  
A general buzz of witches, wizards and house-elves setting up, decorating and cleaning could be heard from the street. This was not, by any stretch of the imagination going to be a 'minor occasion'.  
  
Late afternoon to early evening saw the first guests to arrive. They were a group of Hogwarts staff past and present. As they walked along the street towards the tavern, the guests split up into twos to fit along the thin path. Leading the crowd were Albus Dumbledore and Gilderoy Lockhart.  
  
"So I hear you have regained your memory old chap," began Dumbledore, finding Gilderoy's pink flumpy outfit very 'over-the-top!'  
  
"I had an operation, yes, but they said they couldn't bring back everything,"  
  
"Such as?" Dumbledore enquired  
  
"Such as my rare..." Gilderoy began, trailing off at the end  
  
"Your what?"  
  
"My rare vanity," he said, "Apparently I was once quite a poser!" Lockhart replied, hardly believing it.  
  
"Really! I'd never have known!" said Dumbledore, chuckling to himself.  
  
The list of Hogwarts staff and past students was growing. Severus Snape, in long black robes accompanied a very elegantly dressed Minerva McGonagall through the door and led her across the smoky dance floor to a table accommodating professors Flitwick, Binns, Hooch, Sprout and Trelawney. All of whom were wearing matching red paper hats and giggling to the most bizarre jokes!  
  
The newly weds Mr and Mrs Percy and Penelope Weasley arrived with Percy's brothers Bill and Charlie in their wedding present, a green Ford Anglia (Percy and Penelope's wedding present, not Bill and Charlie's!). Both Bill and Charlie were immediately up on stage singing the Macarana (a muggle song) and within a few minutes when the dance routine had spread, everyone was on their feet! Even Snape!  
  
After the song, Cornelius Fudge head of the Ministry of Magic took the microphone and began his speech. He declared the bar open and everything free on behalf of the ministry. Everyone cheered and Albus Dumbledore was called up to receive an 'Exceptional Order of Merit First Class'. Glasses clinked as a toast was called for another successful year of magic, drinks were disappearing, drunks were gathering and after a few minutes of gentle persuasion Albus and Cornelius performed a duet of the all-time great 'I Got You Babe'!  
  
By midnight, everyone without exception was drunk. Not rowdy, not violent just very, very merry! Remus Lupin and McGonagall started to chat.  
  
"So w-where is S-S-Sirius tonight?" Minerva slurred  
  
"He's at home in Godric's Hollow with Harry," Remus replied, wrongly sounding sober  
  
"H-Harry who?"  
  
"Harry Potter professor,"  
  
"Oh yeh! I-I should have known, sh-should'nt I!" Minerva blurted out. With this she fell off her chair and remained there laughing for the entire night. Remus walked off.  
  
The mood of the night was gradually creeping up the happy-scale until it reached maximum. At that point even Lord Voldemort and his henchmen popped in for a drink without being noticed, despite asking Cornelius Fudge to join them!  
  
Gilderoy Lockhart took the moment upon himself to perform his new hit- single 'I Will Open Your Eyes' in front of the entire magical world. His equally drastic dance moves were quite a spectacle. However, his eye- grabbing exhibition only lasted until he forgot where he was and wondered off.  
  
Severus Snape stood up from his stool by the bar and abandoned his drink to stumble up onto the stage. He tried to pick up the microphone from the floor but kept losing it in his extravagant robes. He fought and fought with it until he finally succeeded, clutching it to his chest in a heap on the floor. Severus climbed to his feet, brushed his hands through his hair and attempted to express the most feeble jokes, somehow withholding the punch line and trying to explain the comical aspect. He was booed by everyone. A jumble of curses and hexes flew from all angles and Severus concluded as a lump of embarrassment floating sixteen feet in the air.  
  
Rubeus Hagrid, half man-half giant stood up from the custom built giant table to do his thing on the dance floor! The crowd parted and shook as he pounded into the centre. The next incident to happen is indescribable but results in Hagrid's dancing partner (Hagrid's mother Fridwulfa's friend's daughter) grabbing Hagrid's pink umbrella and whispering something into his ear. His umbrella took this comment as a command and peculiarly transported her to Germany. Hagrid was brought down with tears at her departure and the tent shook as he sneezed. His disappointment however did not last long as his dog Fang was soon up to standard, swinging from Hagrid's grasp through a slow song.  
  
Madam Rosmerta, the pub landlady stretched up her arm and pulled a piece of string, which set off a loud ring of church bells throughout the tavern and the tent. After the alarming sound came a voice, so loud it shook the floor:  
  
"Last orders at the bar, the bar will be closing shortly."  
  
A charge of magical people and creatures surrounded the bar and by three o'clock in the morning, the town was still.  
  
The morning brought hangovers and confusion. Minerva McGonagall woke up on the floor of the tent with a glass in one hand and a chair leg in the other. Long strands of colourful streamers seemed to cover every inch of the place. She sat up and tried to get her eyes to focus. The tent was glowing with the early morning sun and Minerva could see about twenty others strewn across the dance floor. She got up and headed quietly towards the door, holding her head and rubbing her eyes. McGonagall reached the doorway, which lay open but blocked by a heap of sleeping Hagrid! She clambered over him in a very un-lady-like way and stretched her arms outside in the warm morning breeze. A line of people walking down the street away from the Three Broomsticks pub holding their heads could be seen for miles!  
  
Meanwhile, Gilderoy Lockhart sat up painfully. This doesn't smell like his home he thought. His head was throbbing and he felt awful. He opened his eyes. There were scratches on the walls and the smell of decay was overpowering. Gilderoy yawned, memories of the night were returning. He felt around him, he was in bed. Gilderoy plonked his head back on the pillow and shut his eyes.  
  
"Where am I?" he thought to himself, he knew he was in Hogsmeade, that part was vivid enough. Gilderoy wanted to open his eyes again but his brain wouldn't obey. He breathed in the decaying stench again. He was in the shrieking shack!  
  
"Aaaaahh" he screamed, suddenly remembering the night.  
  
"Gilderoy?" came a voice from beside him in the bed  
  
"Remus?" 


End file.
